Feeling like a dad

August 14, 2008 — Leave a comment

One of the things that I thought would change once I became a dad was that I would feel different. I always assumed that since my world was about to get turned upsidedown that life would feel different at a very fundament level, that I wouldn’t ever feel like the person I was before Emory was born. Over two months into this new phase of my life I realize now that it’s not true. I’m still who I am and feel, for the most part, like the same person.

That’s not to say that my life is not different, but I guess I’ve always thought that fatherhood would touch the core of my emotions in a way that I would be reshaped into a new and different person. The feeling that I have about being a dad I can best describe as feeling right. I do, however, still feel like I am the same person.

I guess that what being a parent is starting to do, though, is to reveal more fully who I really am. I know that my weak areas (selfishness, laziness, etc.) are more obvious to me now. I also think that my strong areas rise more to the surface, too.

Maybe the reason for this “true self” that I feel like I’m becoming has to do with the fact that I’m more fully living out God’s command on my life. God told the original inhabitants of the earth, Adam and Eve, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28). I’m starting to “fill the earth” with my offspring.

Maybe this, also, was partly was Jesus was alluding to when he said “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). It shouldn’t be a suprise at all that when I live out and obey God’s commands my life will be more rewarding.

Kevin

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